Why Dating In Nigeria Is The Jungle

WHAT INSPIRED THIS POST: A SERIES OF GBAS GBOS EXPERIENCED BY RANDOM PEOPLE, WHO MAY OR MAY NOT INCLUDE ME
If you're a single adult, chances are, you've been in a romantic relationship before. Chances also are, it ended in tears. This is probably why you really cannot disagree with most of what I'm going to say. You've done it to people. People have done it to you. We will all be fine. Ojoro cancel ojoro, abi?
First of all, the average young person in Nigeria is hardened. Is "hardened" really the word I'm looking for? Let's just say we're used to being screwed over. We can take anything, so we'll dish out anything. Let me just state that Nigeria is not even a place for romantic relationships. Traffic, inflation, expensive data, everything will work against you. When you find the love of your life(Good luck with that), the two of you should just sell your kidneys or something and go to Paris or the Maldives or Santorini because Nigeria will most likely kill your love. I mean, imagine loving somebody while abroad breeze is blowing the two of you. Both your heads would be correct.
Disclaimer: Going to the Maldives does not guarantee that your love will work out. So if you want to sell your kidneys, do it for yourself, not for love.
Anyway, since you don't have the balls to sell your kidneys, let's talk about trying to find love in a society where almost everybody is looking to ruin your life.
So I've heard random stories from my friends, from strangers on twitter (I love Twitter. People are always so willing to share stories. It's amazing) and as someone who is a big believer in "Nothing wey person never see", it is extremely hard to surprise me. But once in a while, there is that unbelievable story that leaves my mouth open for seconds, shout out to Lagos men.
If you are actively looking for love right now, odds are you will run mad before you find it. And there are so many risks attached to putting yourself out there.

1. GHOSTING
Ghosting(according to Urban Dictionary): The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date.
In other words, they disappear like Karishika after you have given them your time, energy and might have even named your future children in your head. You don't know what is going on. Dating in Nigeria should be on 1000 ways to die. It's a madhouse out here and not everybody you meet is sane. Know this and know peace.
Sadly, there is really nothing you can do to protect yourself from being ghosted. But you can move on if it happens. That is really the only thing you can do.
A tip: If you feel like you're being ghosted, that is, if you somehow manage to slow time down and watch it happen, ghost back! Ghost times hundred, especially if you are at the stage where you cannot vouch for them, ie give a proper excuse for their behaviour or actually ask them what is going on. Disappear too. Talking stages are already tedious enough. So come correct or don't come at all.

2. YOU LOVE THEM. THEY DON'T CARE
There are situations where somebody that is supposed to love you back does not care about you. You both are together, but they don't give an actual damn. I know it sounds like a very unlikely thing, but I promise you, it is happening. If you do find yourself in this particular situation, I'm begging you in the name of everything, even though I know you people don't hear word, just pack your stuff and go. Trust me, that person is not the only one in the world and I can promise you there is another person just around the corner waiting to also stress the living daylight out of you.

3. YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP. THEY ARE STRAIGHT UP DISGRACING YOU
I'm tempted to laugh now. I feel like I don't even have to explain this one much. You know what I'm talking about. Random examples:
-She's your sunshine, you are her Mugu 12.
-He's giving you the same line he gives four other babes.
-You cook soup for him. He and his side chic are eating it and kikiki-ing together while you're texting him "I hope you like the food"
Like I said, you know.
I'd advise you to find your way out, but I know these things are easier said than done. I also know that to an extent, all our heads are not correct. People are hurting us, we are hurting people. Now, none of these stories is even newsworthy anymore. We just chalk it up to the game being the game. I think the worst part is that a lot of us don't even take time to heal from these things. The train has to keep moving, right?
If you are looking for love in Nigeria, good luck. I really hope you find what you are looking for. I hope we all do. But till that happens, let's all be fooling ourselves.