From Benin To Lagos: A Cliché Story Of Independence And Fast-Moving Dreams

They say there is no growth without discontent. Apparently, you cannot grow if you are satisfied with where you are. We're born completely helpless and dependent. But as we grow, things change. They have to. Growth is change and change is loss and loss is pain. Good things not only take time, but they can also be painful. Growth is painful.

I wouldn't say I've had a difficult life. That would be an ungrateful statement to make. I've always been properly looked after and I know that other people have it a lot worse. But then there comes a time in a man's (or woman's) life when contentment is not an option. Being content is a virtue that is not always applicable. I think we all understand this inherently and this is why we leave home. This is why I came to Lagos.

In 2019, I got my first real opportunity to leave home. Before NYSC, my father always said that leaving home to chase whatever I wanted out of life was something he would support. But for some reason, I never really believed him. I think he might have meant it but I didn't buy it. I think that's the downside of living a sheltered life and being so close to home all the time. Your people have a hard time letting you go and you have a hard time leaving. 

I got posted to Akwa Ibom initially and it took me less than one week at orientation camp to decide that I didn't want to be there. It felt too much like where I was coming from. I admit It felt like much-needed peace in an emotionally difficult time but it also looked like stagnancy somehow. So I left. I wish I could say I never looked back but I did. I looked back very many times. Every single time Lagos got tough, I looked back and wished I'd just stayed in Akwa Ibom and kept my head down for a year. But I don't regret the decisions I made. Not at all. I believe I'm where I'm supposed to be, at least for now.

Location: NYSC Orientation camp, Nsit-Atai, Akwa-Ibom...before I ran away

I think I've been lucky so far. I have family here. I guess this isn't one of those stories about leaving home with absolutely nothing and making it big in Lagos. I didn't leave home with nothing and I haven't made it yet. I don't even think I'm really adulting yet. I just hope I remember this  when I blow and resist the temptation to tell people "Remember when I dey suffer for streets?" If I ever say that, please remind me that my parents sent me money all through my so-called "hustle" and I never slept under the bridge. But all that will not make my success story any less of a success story. I left home, came here and put in the work. That is all that will matter when it finally pays off.

In October, I started to work officially as a content writer. It wasn't really my first job but it was my longest one. The official job title was "Intern" but it stopped feeling like an internship somewhere along the line. I can't tell if that was a good thing or not but I don't have any regrets. I learnt so much and I met interesting people.

I think the most difficult part about moving to Lagos was the people. You see, Benin is a sleepy town. Some people call it a dead place but I don't think it's dead at all. I think it has its uses. You'd have to be a certain kind of person to be able to live there. But Lagos? Lagos is too alive for its own good. Lagos is so alive that it can chew you, spit you out and even kill you. I've come to also realise that it can be so beautiful sometimes, that you feel almost as alive as the city. Like I did in this picture.

                          Location: Rele Art Gallery

When I first moved, I didn't even want to come out, it was so loud and rowdy outside, it was too much to handle. I was such a baby girl. But as NYSC would have it, I  had to do a lot of running around and submission of documents to get settled in as a corper. The journey from Lekki to Surulere was always hell. I couldn't always use a taxi and my pidgin isn't great and I don't know why. Anyone who hears me looks at me funny. Maybe it's in my head and I don't really sound terrible. Anyway, they are a lot more forgiving of shortcomings like that in Benin but here, they just think you consider yourself to be better than them and they think it'll be easy to scam you.

Blending in was a huge problem at first. Everybody screams in Yoruba. I don't speak Yoruba and honestly, I'd rather not scream. Bus conductors have cheated me very many times and I sort of allowed it because these people respond best to displays of violence, "Oloriburuku" and "Se o ya were?". I'd rather not do all that. 

I'll give you the extra 100 naira that you want to cheat me out of. Just don't make me shout please.

Right now, I still would not be caught dead yelling at anyone on a bus but I've learnt easier ways of making bus conductors cooperate and no, I will not share tips with you. Figure it out yourself like I did. It probably wouldn't work for you. If you can exchange words and yell in Yoruba, that's great. Yell away. These people deserve it sometimes.

NYSC is only a few weeks from being over. I think I'm a completely different person than I was when I moved. I've seen some things. Things I would never have seen if I'd stayed back in my parents' house in Benin or in  Akwa Ibom, teaching at a school in Uruan. I think I'm about to see more of these things as I'm practically done with my service year and what I do next is entirely up to me. There really aren't rules anymore and my life is now completely my responsibility. It always was but this time, it's different. I'm not going through something(school or NYSC).

           A picture from my last day at work at my PPA in Lagos

I'm supposed to decide where I go from here, all on my own. I should be nervous. I am, but it is more excitement than anxiety and nerves. I expect a lot of breakdowns and tears. Enough tears to flood Lekki, but I'm ready for it. At least I think I am. I might be in denial. Maybe I don't really know what life is about and that is why I'm not worried about my current state of unemployment. Or maybe I'm confident that one of my very many job applications will come through. I can't really say which it is. I guess we will find out as time goes. But I have promised myself that I will maintain my inner peace and continue to work for the life I want. With time, everything good will come.