You Probably Don't Deserve The Woman You Want

 Yes, that's what the title really reads.

For the longest time, even since we were kids, we are made to learn and digest what we should be to a man. Words like nurturing, peaceful, supportive...

I get it really. I get why they would want us to be all that. 

Fast forward to 2021. We have grown up, or so we seem to think. Things have changed a lot. Part of this growing up implies that we now have our own opinions. Wise ones, stupid ones that we air on Twitter every day about what women expect of men and what men expect of women. 

In most of those cases where I occasionally bump into someone speaking about it, I mentally roll my eyes and beg them to speak from their own experience. I would never actually quote your tweet and ask you to state that this is what you have discovered from your dealings in your relationships because I know how you people like to throw words around- words that you barely understand. 

I know words. Oh, trust me, I know a lot of words. But I’d rather drink a bowl of milk than trade them with a stranger on the internet. To give context to my last statement, I’m very lactose intolerant and drinking a whole bowl of milk could cause problems for me. Still, I'd rather do that than argue with anybody on Twitter.

Disclaimer: Everything I say is my opinion and nothing else. If you agree, that’s great. If you don’t and you want to dispute, come to me and let’s talk. 

In the reckless airing of opinions in public, one thing that has remained constant is the harmony in the opinion of what women really want from men.

"All these girls of nowadays just want money."

"Nobody wants to build with men anymore."

Like I said, this is your opinion and you are entitled to it. 

Apart from the fact that women are after all your money and you’re desperately searching for one that isn’t so you can give her "the world", what do you really have to offer us? What else are you looking for?

If I had a dollar for every time I heard that you don’t want a woman who wants your money, I’d be buying Tesla stocks right now.

To be honest, I don’t even blame men for choosing "not wanting money" as a major quality to look out for when searching for a partner. They’ve pretty much raised you to be a provider and now your sense of self is tied to how much money you have. If you have a few months of "Sapa", you will push everybody, including this your partner away. You just don’t feel worthy of her presence.

See where I’m going with this?

If you don’t, I’m simply saying that maybe your taste in women is very ingrained in the fact that your entire personality is tied to how much money you have. You know that if the money goes today, there’s probably nothing else that will keep her. 

I’m not absolving any gender of blame in whatever this is. If you’re thinking at this point, that this is meant to shame anyone, I’m begging you to step out of your dark corner of the world and see that not everything that contains "Men" and "Women" is meant to pit them against one another.

Let's all just learn and grow, please.

Speaking to women now, how many times has a man ever tried to ask you out without flaunting his money in your face?

If he says "I can take you to Bora Bora to have breakfast tomorrow" and you say "Okay, and so?", he will probably have no follow-up. It’s simply because that’s what a lot of them run their dating and relationships on, just money and money and a sprinkle of vibes.

You hear it in music, see it in movies, and as weird as it sounds, it happens in real life. They’re offering you the world but not really giving anything. Can’t offer reason, can’t offer companionship, can’t offer faithfulness, can’t offer any form of partnership. All that influences your presence in a relationship is in figures and is lying in your bank account.

When they come out to say they want someone that doesn’t want their money, in many cases, it's coming from someone who only has money to offer.

I’m not saying there aren’t women who just want to use you for your money. There are, and you need to be extra careful. But ask yourself, infamous head of the home, if you are capable of other things than providing. If Buhari were to wake up today and ban spending in relationships, how would you fare moving forward? What else can you do?

You don’t have game- you don’t know how to talk to a woman if it’s not sex or money-related.

You don’t have any kind of emotional stability or intelligence.

You can’t allow yourself to be vulnerable.

You are still stuck living in what you’ve been told a man and woman should be. Therefore, you cannot bend for anyone. You are rigid, unwilling to learn, close-minded and just generally difficult.

But you want somebody to come and love you for who you are? Who are you? Do you even know?

It’s crazy that many people say over and over that they don’t want something, then when they’re in the position to have it, that’s exactly what they go for.

Money is not a personality trait. Never has been. It’s a great thing to have. In fact, have money. It’s a "must"! It’s super important. Not for women, but for yourself, for choices, for the baby boy life you deserve. But having money will never replace a personality and character because that’s what people really fall in love with.

You say you have high standards when it comes to women. Understandable. You should know these women probably don’t show up every day. If you want to be deserving of the kind of woman you want and are so loud about wanting, give her something to fall in love with.

The saying is "If you want something (or someone) give it (them) your all", not "give it (them) all your money".