An Overview Of The Superficial World Of Professional Posturing

 I've recently been very vocal about my disdain for LinkedIn. No, my dislike for it is not for the popular reason that the pressure is too much. 

Yeah, sure there’s pressure, but I’ve found that I’m usually only pressured by things I consent to. 

I think it’s razz honestly.

I know that’s the exact opposite of what it should be, but that’s what it is now. It was originally built for networking amongst professionals and that’s still what it does but two things can be true at the same time: 

1. It’s a great medium to build a useful network 

2. It’s razz.

I’m in a love-hate relationship with it. I have an absolute distaste for most of the things I see there, but I’m on LinkedIn every single day and I think it's because I need something to turn my nose up at. 

If you know what you’re looking for, there’s no limit to the entertainment that can be found in that space. It’s weird watching people turn everything into a source of motivation. On paper, it sounds great. I mean, what’s wrong with finding motivation in everything?

Everything is wrong if your motivation is built on a faulty equation like 1+1= amala. Just like amala is trash and shouldn't be eaten by anyone who still has things to live for, your motivation also does not belong in real life. Sorry about the digression and amala slander. I couldn't help myself.

There’s a widespread need to sound like you know what you’re doing, like you are busy, constantly on the move, learning lessons and breaking barriers. I guess that’s what pressures people. 

Let me tell you for free that half of the stuff you read there is horseshit. If you’re willing to look at it with a critical and maybe nonchalant eye, you’ll find a lot of humour in everyone’s posturing. There’s no end to the posturing and no end to the humour.

LinkedIn is a lot of packaging. To put it simply, dem dey bobo you and when you finally see it, you’ll never be able to un-see it. 

You know how we’ve all but agreed that motivational speakers are just feel-good ambassadors who barely add any value? That’s kind of what happens on LinkedIn. Everybody’s talking, whether they have anything useful to say or not. That’s why you’ll hear entire posts starting like "Last night I was thinking about the sky…"

You’ll be tempted to wonder why somebody was thinking about the sky last night but just wait and see where they’re going. Actually don’t. They’re not going anywhere. 

They’re going to tell you about how they went outside to get a good view of the sky and it started raining and they didn’t bother to go back inside because they were high on the smell that comes with the rain. "Oh, and do you know that smell is called petrichor?"

Then the poster goes on to tell us that they discovered their purpose on a rainy right like this when they were ten years old and have never stopped working towards it since then. 

Sounds like a feel-good story, yes? It looks good, but it does nothing.

In the end, the entire post then leads to one generic moral lesson. Never give up.

Thank you, dear, for that earth-shattering message. I was about to give up just now, but this your story that is staggering under the weight of big big grammar has just changed my mind.

Then there are the ones who make connections out of thin air and say things like "dog is god in reverse spelling" in response to a video of a cute dog on LinkedIn. This really happened, by the way. I don't even know if it's my inner intellectual that is disturbed by this deduction or it is my inner Nigerian that is worried that the statement borders on blasphemy.

Like I said, 1+1 equals amala on LinkedIn.

I cringe a little when I see these things. That’s not exactly saying a lot because second-hand embarrassment comes easily to me, but then I swallow it when I see comments like "Nice post " and "This makes a lot of sense" or "Thanks for this!"

Thanks for what? What are you talking about? 

 In all my years on social media, the most shocking lesson I’ve learnt is that no matter what level of dust a person is pushing as common sense, there is at least one person on the internet that agrees with them. 

People are doing amazing stuff with their lives of course. Big things, life-changing things, unbelievable things are being pushed by young people. It’s beautiful and you can aspire to that if you like. You should also know that not everyone is that special. Not everybody is up to something big. Please don’t feel like the world is leaving you behind because of the things you see on LinkedIn. A lot of it is not real.

Feel free to pressure yourself over anything else in this life, but not by those posts people are putting up to show off their false depth and embellished achievements.

I understand that it’s hard sometimes to not compare yourself to other people, but I’ll tell you this, and I know you’ve heard it before: Run your race. Do what you do. Just focus. 

If you compare yourself with people on LinkedIn or any other platform, you’ll never be happy with what you’ve achieved. 

LinkedIn isn’t all rainbows and "Two years ago, I started my journey…". It can be pretty useful. People get jobs on LinkedIn all the time. Some people on there are inspiring, honest about their journey and willing to help others out. If you find those people, connect with them or follow them. 

You see those aspire to perspire ones with no real message? You don’t want their sermons on your feed.

Again, run your race. LinkedIn is LinkedIn, just some platform that you access on your phone. You see real life? This is where all the shit gets done. This is where your race is happening. Don’t get lost in what doesn’t matter and start feeling down like you’re the only person not out there finding the cure for poverty. There aren’t that many extraordinary people in the world. You can be extraordinary if you want to, but trust me, if you are still figuring out your life, it doesn’t make you worse than anybody. You’re good. Keep pushing. Rooting for you.

If the pressure ever gets too much for you, take a break. Come back and read this post if you need a reminder of how well you’re doing. Don’t let that voice in your head make you feel like all the hard work you’ve done isn’t worth it because you don’t have anything groundbreaking to post. Me, I’m here for the smallest wins like getting through a difficult day, waking up in the morning and being on your (legal) grind again when if you’ve had a rough night, week, month or even rough life. 

That's a better way to measure progress. Do you know why? You do it every day. You are making progress every day. You want your big breaks, sure. But it wouldn't be called big breaks if they happened daily. They'd probably call it lunchtime. Big breaks are special. They don't happen every other day. Maybe your big break isn't tomorrow or next week or even this year and that's fine. Measure your progress in small wins, understand what your own idea of success is and you'll be content.

Love you loads, have a great day and abolish LinkedIn!