Life Update: Do I Need an Exorcism or an Applause?

 I turned 25 last week. It's still a bit difficult to get used to telling people. Even when I wrote the first sentence of this piece, I wrote 24 first. You know how you enter a new year and you keep mentioning last year's date and it takes a while to sink in before you really realize that this is a new year.

Fun fact: On my birthday last year, this one lady was praying for me and she told me that my next cake would be a wedding cake. I was like "Okay. What are the odds of meeting someone and marrying someone before my next birthday?" But hey, the power of a praying woman and all that, so I didn't argue. Also didn't say Amen because power of the tongue and all that.

Funny that I didn't feel like getting a cake this year. I will not feel like getting a cake next year either, so maybe she's right. Hmm.

Anyway, I'm writing a life update like a conceited Youtuber because I've had a terrible week and I need to check with myself that I'm still me. I feel like a lot of things disappeared and I didn't even notice. 

I used to have this fear of missing out on everything. I don't know where it went because it's a Friday night and I'm perfectly content just sitting on the floor listening to a song I don't even like. Don't get me wrong. This has always been me. But at least I used to worry that I was wasting my young adulthood just sitting inside. Apparently, this worry wasn't enough to motivate me to do anything generally considered fun, it only just nagged at me like a lone mosquito in a small room. You know that irritating buzzing sound?

Friday last week was my birthday and I spent the evening with two of my favourite people. It was great. After our dinner ended, I felt like I didn't want to end the night so I went to this lounge where someone I talk to on occasion was hosting a party. It took me thirty-seven seconds to know I didn't want to be there. I counted. 

I don't know what did it for me. It might have been seeing some guy who hosts a podcast with his strangely bearded friend and talks like he knows all about women. Ugh, Jon Snow.

It could have been some really pretty lady who said hi to me like she knew me. Honestly, I was a bit stunned, like a deer in headlights. Also, my feet were killing me.

I might go back there another day, maybe on karaoke night. 

I might be possessed. That, in my opinion, is the only reason a person could wake up and feel like an entirely different person. My week has been a nightmare, but I haven't cried once. Crying used to be therapeutic for me. It gave me a headache if I carried it on for too long though, so maybe not so therapeutic.

I usually feel like I'm watching life just go by but now, I don't even care. It is so odd. I'm used to feeling everything, even things that shouldn't really affect me. Now I feel light like someone took something off my shoulders. There is nothing I'm missing out on. There is nobody interesting in this world left to meet. I've already met all the cool people. Is this what old age feels like? Sign me up, please.

I'm scared it will end and I'll go back to being burdened by everything. I really hope not because this feels amazing. Strange, but completely amazing. Am I becoming a hardened criminal? Who knows? It might be fun to work with something other than a laptop for once. That's assuming I become a robber or pickpocket. So many career choices and I don't even have to take Udemy courses to transition. The world's my oyster. Bring me my gun!

I'm now listening to Tom Walker's Leave a Light on. 

It's a beautiful song. You should check it out. Shoutout to my sister for plugging me to great songs. Lifesaver, that one.

What's your favourite song right now? Let me know in the comments so I can check them out and judge you.

Ciao.