Is Chemistry A Real Thing?

Ever watched one of those shows where they ask this couple how they knew they were right for each other and they look long and deep in each other's eyes, and the lady utters the name of the subject that gave you nightmares in secondary school? Like, come on dear. Say the truth and stop giving credit to the only reason there was F9 in my WAEC result. Don't give me PTSD. 

Are they on to something though? Is chemistry an actual thing? And if it is, is it a special enough thing to even mention as a major ingredient? Yes? No? I think not. Wait a minute, I'm not about to bash anybody's ability to trade googly eyes with people they just met. I mean, it is absolutely disgusting but that's not really the point. Go ahead and do you boo.

So Chemistry loosely translates to an effortless attraction between people. That's just it honestly. Ordinary effortless attraction. I wish this was the definition we had to cram in SS 1. We give these things too much credit to be honest. 

Personally, I think chemistry is dependent on a whole lot of factors and when those conditions are right, you can have chemistry with a madman. No, that is not what I really think, but if you've been following this blog, you know I'm kidding. Please don't have chemistry with mad people. 

Since we've established that chemistry is basically just attraction, let's go on to why I think it's not so special. Three words: ATTRACTION IS UNRELIABLE.

Chemistry is great, no doubt. It's good to have it. But chemistry is attraction and attraction depends on a lot of things. Ask yourself what really attracts you to a person. Or what exactly is wrong with the people that you are not attracted to. Is it that they are God's stepchildren or...?

The things you are attracted to in a person can change. Let's not even get started on how fickle human emotions are. That one is another wahala on its own. You like somebody, then you go to bed at night. You wake up the next morning and the feelings have disappeared like your village people beat it out of you in your dreams. Then you find yourself facing her in the morning and explaining how "It's not you, it's me."

                                           ...cos dis nuh mek sense

As much as we'd all like to believe that sometimes there is no reason we are attracted to a person, we might be lying to ourselves. I've come to notice how claiming not to know why gives our emotions some kind of depth. So you want us to think you are attracted to her soul abi? My friend gbenusoun there.

There are so many things to be attracted to in a person, their smile, their smell, their dress sense, their voice, the bumshot that is a gunshot, many many things my child. And these things can change. We can change.

Remember all the people you met and five minutes later, you swore it felt like you'd "known them all your life"? If you don't remember them, me I remember my own, and there have been many. I even have poems for some of them. Let me share one.

"So it was the beginning of a new week and hours into the day,

we swore we'd known each other longer.

Weird.

We had said everything that needed to be said, 

and to be very honest, I didn't see the wreckage 

But to be fair, there is a fickleness in everyone,

the more special, the more fickle.

I think it makes sense that good things don't last.

It's okay.

I hate you a little, but I remember you with a fondness."

You see how much wahala this thing causes? Chemistry will ruin your life in SS 3 when you're preparing for WAEC, then it'll come and ruin your emotional life when you're an adult. Please don't be misled, I don't remember any of these people with any fondness. They're just lucky I'm not in touch with that Ogun that Benin children invoke when you upset them a little.

What I'm saying is, it feels good but most times, it doesn't last long. It's all just hormones and chemical signals. If you are now asking me what you should base your relationship on now that Chemistry has given you F9, It is my greatest pleasure to inform you that I don't even know. How do you even know these things? Everything about everybody is so complicated and stressful and to be honest, I want to slap some of you sometimes. 

But I do know that love is a real thing. I know that commitment can be beautiful if one of you is not a complete and utter idiot. I know about trust and faith and assurance and I understand the potency of these things. But if somebody moves to you, and they're arming themselves with the unreliable weapon of chemistry as the major reason they want you, please run. Chemistry is a thing, but I don't think it's a real thing.

Disclaimer: I had a B3 in Chemistry in WAEC, before you people will think I'm an olodo.